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| So school has taken over my life once again.
Senior year ain't no joke with four AP classes and all those darn college apps.
I'm applying to VT, JMU, ODU, and the infamous MIT. hahahha
I mean why not at least get that rejection letter to make sure I actually tried to get in. I rather get that rejection letter than not try at all for the hardest college. And maybe, just possibly, they for once just want a normal average asian kid that probably has the money to go to their school. Highly doubt it, but hey, dont stop believin, like Journey singing it out loud.
Honestly, senior year is pretty hard for me. Most students, i'd call them the average kids, call senior year the easiest and the slackest year of their school career. But that is because they are taking all those easy ass classes. I'm working my ass off with AP Eng, AP Psych, AP Gov, AP Comp Sci, and Physics ! WTF. But i mean, honestly, I wouldnt have signed up for those classes if i knew I couldnt handle it. I said it was hard, but not too hard for me to drop any classes. Plus, it'll pay off when those average kids are in school in may, while im out taking all those AP exams. I just hate how this one chick is like senior is SUPPOSE to be slack. I'm like listen here missy, you be takin all those easy ass classes and you still manage to be slackin, while im trying to at least maintain a C in any class at this point. Don't tell me that it's suppose to be easy. I never thought of it as being easy. so CHILL OUT.
That same chick so happens to be the chick that I use to be talking to...but...she is majorly confused with her life and doesnt know what she wants. SO i called quits. I straight up told her that I gave up on her because she is still hung over her ex when he clearly doesnt want her. WOMP. We still talk and text and what not. but I dont want anything to happen. It's senior year i dont want to start anything.
I'm so done with high school relationships. What is the point? The girls I get are sooo idk confused. undetermine. not knowing what they want in life. Honestly, it's because of my ex. She created this insecurity that I have unfortunately formed. I had it all. She found me. She was my dream come true. But what happens when you realized she isnt what you thought she would be? She leaves you by lying her way out and you figure out through people and online that all the lines she fed you were lies and she got a new guy to mess with. I was just her main squeeze at the time. It left a huge whole in my heart. It ate up my summer. It is the main reason why I gave up on love. The reason why I'm losing my ways. I use to love being passionate and doing all those little cute stuff. I use to think with my heart. But recently and sadly, I've been thinking with my body. I just want some physical love. I mean WTF. I see all those jerks getting all those girls and disrespecting 'em and using 'em and just gettin all of it and they just leave 'em with a broken heart while I'm here respecting and just treating them to the best of my ability to make them happy. and i'm the one who gets heartbroken. she left me. I'm truly over her....i guess i just want that apology. I mean everyone wants to hear, "I'm sorry that i hurt you." At least i want to hear that. I'm sure i'll never get it.
I just want to fall in love. I want to fall so in love.
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| I can finally say I have seen Blink 182 & Fall Out Boy live.
My two most favorite band of all time.
=D
And I got front row tickets.
On that good life status !
=D
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| Back in June of '08, my sister started working at Hollister. After the 3rd day of work, she came home telling me that the chick I had a MAJOR crush on that went to our church works at Hollister with her. My sister was talking to her and she mentioned that I, ME of ALL PEOPLE, thought I was cute ! (Honestly, for a girl to say that I'm cute....it like blows my mind because I really dont consider myself cute at all. I guess it's cuz I had low self esteem before.) I literally ran around my house just screaming, "LIFE SUCKS." The reason being....i was still dating my gilfriend at that time which whis long distance. I was in VA while she was in CA and I've been in the long distance since June '07 !
IDK. I would have broken up with my girlfriend at that time just to start talking to Hollister girl. I honestly dont know why i didnt. Our relationship was already down since Nov of '07. I guess i wasn't smart enough to realize that i was in a verbal/emotional abusive relationship. I ended up breaking up with her Oct of '08.
By that time, Hollister had a boyfriend and everything. I didn't want to interefere with her and be the guy that tears them apart.
The actual FML part :
My sister comes home yesterday with, "I told her that you liked her. She started to blush and said that was cute. She said she liked you too." FML
I sooooo had it. The real reason was not because i had a girlfriend but i was hella too nervous to even say hi to her. I really didn't even know how to approach her. I mean saying Hi to a girl isn't a biggy....but it soo was with her. If I wasn't so damn nervous, I'd probably be with her now !
SO basically, the two most gorgeous ladies go to my church. AND i so had a chance with each one of them !
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| SO...I took the SATs yesterday....not so great.
I picked up my best friend Timmy and we headed to the school where it was being held. haha He was asking me random words and what they meant...i basically manage to fail which definition but sall good ! I parked at the student lot and as we were walking to the front i folded my admin ticket and placed it on my left back pocket. As we walked in, we formed a line and they lady told us to have our admin ticket out. I reached for my back pocket....to find out that it wasn't THERE ! WTF ! I went silent. I didnt know how to react. I told timmy, "OMG, i think i lost it." He quickly thought i was messing with him. I told him straight up, "wait in line. Ill be back." I busted the doors and started to look at the ground and back track my steps from the entrance to my car. I reached in my other pocket with force and forgot all about the pencil in there. So I bassically stabbed myself with my pencil. I figured if I get my ticket and take the test I wouldnt live to see my score cuz id die from lead poisoning ! I saw a white paper but realized it was just a napkin. I started to really freak out until i saw a folded paper being blown away by the wind. I ran quickly towards the paper, unfolded it, and saw that it was a ticket. I calmly walked back to the entrance to find that Timmy had disappear from the line. I satrted to panic at that point. I thought, "DAMN it. they got my best friend. He's on his way to the chambersssss !" I walked in a single file line with at least 18 others to a classroom. Since i was 5th in line, the classroom was pretty empty so i got the back seat. The instructor called us up in twos. When it was my turn, I realized I have not once checked if the admin ticket i found was mine. But it was. hahahaha i think im the only stupid one who'd put a piece of paper in his back pocket on a rainy/windy day.
It was really long and really pointless. 10 sections that were pretty repititive.
- Essay,writing, reading, & math
- writing, reading, & math
- writing, reading, & math
I know for a fact that i didnt do quite well on the math sections. First math problem..i was just "WTF" It was all algebra all stuff i learned 8th/freshmen year. I was waiting for some proofs and hardcore math from pre calculus. Nothing. I sucked in reading and writing and the essay. I just hope i get at least 1200...half way. If i get below 1200 I'll have to retake it !
After the long 4 hours and 53 mintues, Timmy and I went to Village Inn. I was starving for some pancakes and bacon ! MMMM. so good. We had convos about the test, life, about Ringdance, about how much we wish we could dance...ect ect ! It was nice hanging out with him. I havent chilled with this dude for awhile.
After that drop him back him. As soon as i got home, I crashed in my bed. I was hella wiped out. Later that day, me friend, Jessica, picked me up and we met up with her friend Eric at Inaks, sushi/hibachi. Their friend, ALex works as a dishwasher while my friend, Ezra, works as a hostess over there. It was chill. Nice and relaxing !
So day...was hella lazy ! hahaha It was so nasty outside. rainy, windy, and cold. I didnt even bother go to the gym. I should have ! I've been slackin in going to the gym. School and after school meetings are screwing my gym schedule. I usually go every other day. Lately, I've been going probably once or twice a week ! not good. I feel like im getting hella fat and losing my STEEL ! hahaha
So...the whole going to Vegas during the summer might be cancelled.....INSTEAD....might be going to Haborside Resort at Atlantis in Paradise Island, Bahamas ! WOOT WOOT 
hahahaha hopefully we will ! I'd rather go to Vegas when I'm actually legal ! Plus, I wanna meet some girlsssss. hahahaha =]] Though, legal age in the Bahamas is 18...my sister got that ! =D even more excited ! I really can't wait for summer vacation right now. I'm tired of all this nonsense of school work and mess ! So not good for the soul ! hahaha
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| My weekend was pretty dope ! I didn't go out Friday, instead, I stayed home and used my sister's laptop to catch up on all my shows that i missed during the week. Though I didn't go out, it was very relaxing because I had the whole house to myself. 
It was such a beautiful day Saturday. It was sunny and the high of 72. Very nice since the weather has been very cold lately. I went to the gym and stayed for 2 hours, the longest I've stayed at the gym. It was very refreshing and motivated. I've lost a lot of weight since I started going but I still have that jiggle in my tummy ! LAME. I'm really trying hard to lose it because I want those glorious ABS that are hiding under the tummy ! hahaha I made myself a promise that every other day that i don't go to the gym, I'm going to run around the neighborhood. Hopefully, I'll be able to follow through that promise. I'm in need of getting ready for the summer and get that beach bod !
Later that day, after my relaxing nap, I went to the mall in search of buying dress pants. I went straight to Express. Tried on a pair and bought it. 57 bucks gone. I am officially an idiot. Why did i buy a pair of dress pants for that price when H&M had just as nice of dress pants for 25 bucks....have no idea. I'm still debating if I should return them and get that H&M and still have enough to buy some dress shirts. But I rationalized that I'd be wasting hell of alot of gas just going to the mall. WOMP to ME !
After dealing with my stupidity, my two friends, Jessica and Brittany came over for awhile. We watched Pineapple Express. I really can't get tired of the movie. It is so dumb and pointless but absolutely hilarious. I think I've actually laugh more and more every time I've seen it !
Later that night, I went with my sister and her boyfriend to her boyfriend's cuzo's birthday party. The big 18 !
It was a chill party...I come to realize that I am well connected with the well-knowns in this city that I live in. Very interesting to know that. hahahah WOMP
Today was another beautiful day and along with that came a beautiful girl. This chick....
During church, yeah I know church..kind of bad but hey, She was walking up for communion and she was going to pass by where i was sitting. I know she knows that I know she is going to pass me. When I saw her, she waved and I waved back AND a big smile slipped out ! I couldn't help it. She still makes me smile. I wanted to catch a "hey" but my fam bam always seems to boogie out fast. I was in the car bumpin' to the music and I saw her with her dark blue dress with the whitest pair of heels I've ever seenn. It was so bright that even the sun had smile on it and made a sparkley reflection.
As she climbed into her car, all I was thinking in my mind was, "Damn. I so HAD that. How did she slip right through my hands? I'd give her my world. She is just drop dead gorgeous. She is making me weak right now."
I mean, we are good friends and all, but I'm just kind of still bummin' out by the fact that things didn't work out quite as I thought it would with her. I thought I was over her but today just made me realize how much I miss hanging out with her. Even if we only had two offical dates, those two dates meant alot....
I just want to let it out....I still think she is hella cute. 
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